One odd thing about grief is how malleable emotions can be from one moment to the next. I was in complete despair on Saturday night/Sunday morning because my car shopping experience was not what I wanted it to be, because I feel abandoned by a lot of Larry's friends, and because weekends are just hard because I have time to think about my circumstances and because I just plain miss Larry. He was very good at being a cheerleader for my life.
Now I don't know if it's possible that our loved ones are able to help our careers from beyond, but all of a sudden, I'm getting a lot of recognition for my work in video. I logged onto my computer this am to find this note from a stranger referencing a short video I made.
"Man...I loved, liked and all that jazz this video so much, so
very much that I had to get a new password just to write this. ..Well done Ms Murray and love the music.
Last night I showed a film at the Bryn Mawr Film Institute. It's like an open mic for filmmakers. Again, very high acclaim. (I didn't show the same piece). I guess life is telling me to get busy and make more videos.
If you're reading this and want to know how to help...getting out for an hour on the weekends helps so invite me for dinner or a series you like to watch on television. It doesn't have to be gourmet. I'm not really watching what I eat these days. Also, talking about a memory you have of Larry is helpful. If you're not sure, just check with me if it would be ok to talk about Larry. I might cry but I don't mind crying. The pain is already there, a cry just lets it out. Nobody is talking about Larry and it feels like his memory has disappeared from the world. I know it's because nobody wants to upset me, but to know what he left behind, how he affected people, is a gift. Just think how it feels when people tell you something good about your child.
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