It is the day before a big benefit for me. I just received a very good massage that was donated to me. I should be happy. I am not. I am trying to get my video equipment to function the way I need because I am way behind on my freelance work. Right now, I want the luxury of watching mindless tv. Instead, my editing software is crashing and the dog still needs walking and emails still need replied to.
I had my heart set on rebuilding with this particular green modular company. There are many obstacles and I don't think they can all be overcome. I need to start from scratch thinking about a place to live but I'd like to at least have made up my mind on a direction.
I want to go out to find a good snack to make up for the horrible dinner that I made myself. I so badly want a happy ending to three difficult years. I guess a little desperation is normal under the circumstances.
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