Today, I saw a friend. Her Mom had recently passed. I asked her how her week was for her (because when you're grieving, you can't answer the question how are you because you're all over the place). Her eyes welled up with tears and we agreed to go outside and talk. When we did, we were followed by a woman who we did not know. My friend started to tell me how much she missed her Mom and how things feel out of control. Emotions I can very much relate to. She wanted her Mom to see her graduate college which for this friend was a huge achievement in her life. The stranger said to both of us, "but she'll be there." Perhaps yes, but here's what happens to me when somebody says that to me. It pushes away the grief. what I hear is, "I do not honor what you are feeling, I can't handle it"
The truth is, my friend missed her Mom. She wanted her to see her graduate. I wanted to spend my 50th birthday party with Larry. Honoring disappointing moments helps me move through the grief.
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