It's kind of amazing to have a house fire where absolutely nothing is left and yet still have little bits and pieces of that former life. I had several photos that Larry took in my office along with one wedding photo and a photo of both dogs. Friends are giving me footage of Larry's performances. I had one CD in my car. I grabbed my pocketbook so I had lipstick after the fire (and most of my ID!). The Internet has helped me to piece back together my graphic art portfolio. I had one of my hard drives at work so some of my earlier video files are on it. So there is evidence that the former life existed!
A friend who works for the Red Cross suggested that I might have an easier time than someone with a partial loss of a home because I won't be surrounded by memories of the fire. I believe she is right. I don't know if it's the extreme amount of things you need to do after a fire or the fact that I am not surrounded by memories of Larry but the grief from Larry's death seems to have subsided. Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely grieving, but Larry's death gave me nothing to look forward to. It weighed my spirit down and getting rid of his stuff seemed endless not to mention that I suddenly took over a lot of debt. I seemed to work non-stop and developed some bad habits with wine and cheese parties for one. The fire wiped the slate clean and although I'm impatient for my permanent home, I'm excited about my temporary home in Princeton.
The Princeton condo is waiting for me Wednesday. It can't come soon enough. The people whose house I am at did not anticipate me coming so my new belongings are as organized as they can be in a place where I can't store things. It feels so transient as does my life at the TV station where we've been looking for a new home for 3-1/2 years.
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